Friday, July 24, 2009

Recipe for an AKON Concert

  • 1 undersold GM Place
  • 15 qued lines of angry AKON fans forced to exchange tickets for new seats to offset the undersold concert
  • 1000 really, really short skirts
  • a large handful of people from every ethnic community in Vancouver/Lower Mainland
  • 2 three ton giant banana shaped speakers capable of thumping so hard your clothes feel the breeze
  • a shitload of other smaller speakers
  • a large pinch of super drunk and tatted out "gangstars"
  • a sprinkle of the VPD's finest
  • 20 cups of young men wearing funny baseball caps askew
  • 1 guy wearing a pink skirt and a mohawk
  • 1 AKON
  • 1 Karlwolf (never heard of him before, but you learn something new everyday)
  • 1 Danny Fernandez
  • 2 backup dancers from the "hood"
  • 1 random Surrey rapper who does a lot of pacing on the small stage
  • a generous mix of hummer and SUV limousines
  • a generous serving of concerned parents watching suspiciously as their teenage daughters scream they want to be a "private dancer" for AKON
  • 10 cups of boy-band-esque dance moves
  • 1000 bright lights
  • a bakers dozen angry after-concert fights
  • 1 code word that's guaranteed to "take things to the next level with your woman"

Mix all ingredients and you have yourself an AKON concert.