Kevin Quinlan is also called "KQ". He also likes dinner parties. So, tonight (May 22), some of The Gumboot's contributors will be hosting a "KQ" themed dinner party in honour of our friend - and the guy who may or may not be secretly running Vancouver - Kevin Quinlan. But who is Kevin Quinlan? Nobody really knows. Well, readers, today is your lucky day, because I have created a Mad Libs-esque dinner-party-script for you to copy, paste, print, and perform; we (and you), the people, will get to decide who is Kevin Quinlan.
Hey, have fun with it!
THE KEVIN QUINLAN MAD LIB
Everyone knew that Kevin Quinlan loved X-Files. But no one knew that he would ever actually be an X-File. One ______________ (adverb) evening, Kevin Quinlan was hustling through some last-minute __________ (noun) in the ____________ (noun). Suddenly, there was a __________ (sound) on the ___________ (noun). Kevin opened the __________ (same noun) and, before him were two ________________ (plural noun). "Come with us," they said (that's right, they talk). "There are some ___________ (adjective) paranormal occurrences that we need you to help us investigate." Kevin __________ (past tense verb) at them for __________ (number) seconds and then _____________ (past tense verb) the ___________ (adjective) ___________ (same plural noun) into the dark evening. But, Kevin soon discovered, nothing was what it seemed! The ___________ (same plural noun) were reall aliens from ___________ (name of planet). Aliens using their paranormal ____________ (noun) were about to ____________ (past tense verb), thought Kevin. And, sure enough, they __________ (same past tense verb) him for ____________ (number) hours. Not only that, they also _____________ (past tense verb) in a(n) __________ (adjective) way for ________________ (bigger number). It was _________________ (adjective)! Kevin had never ____________ (past tense verb) so much in his life. A few ____________ (unit of time) later, Agents Moulder and Skully showed up and took Kevin's _________________ (noun). Then they took his statement. And that is how Kevin Quinlan became an X-File, not to mention the biggest __________ (noun) in history.