"The Usual"

"The Usual." A true parlance of community. If you can walk into a place - any place - and order "the usual," well, my friends, in the world of patronage, you've arrived. Historical findings suggest that being offered "the usual" by places of food-oriented business is a sign of nobility and status in one's community. Or I just made that up because I'm trying to justify seeing something cool on TV or in a book that, long ago, set in motion a goal-setting brainstorm that is, I'm happy to say, nearing completion.

Now. It's been a personal goal of mine for years to have a place where I would be on a first-name basis with the owner of a bar, restaurant or coffee shop and that, upon my entry into such an establishment, the owner would say, "Hey, John. The usual?" Amazing. So, I've got a few goals on my life-list (start a noble pirate company, learn to use power tools, pull off a moustache, write a book, teach my child a jump-shot, perform stand-up at an open-mic-night, have Blue Rodeo play at my wedding, extinguish the Sun...you know, minor, achievable goals), and, I'm happy to say, this week I got to cross one off.

My friend and owner of Pane Vero Cafe and Bakery, Claudio, made my heart smile by asking the above question earlier this week. Now, since moving to The Drive a year ago, I've hit up Pane Vero for their delicious and, incidentally, addictive croissants (ham and cheese or spinach and feta, you can't go wrong). Claudio has also been a spectacular host of a couple of Climate Cafes, inviting members of Vancouver's environmentally friendly community to sit down, sip coffee, eat delicious food and talk about everything from green careers to green sex ("green jobs" fell somewhere in the middle...). Not only is the guy a class-act in terms of building-bridges/relationships, but now I can get "the usual." And it's a beautiful thing!

Are you looking to get "the usual" at a coffee shop, restaurant or "guy who sells various meats in cones" at the Commercial/Broadway Skytrain station? I won't say it's easy, because building and sustaining a meaningful relationship should take hard work. And you also have to establish a purchasing pattern, hence the usual way of doing things. Adding value for the person who gets your patronage is great too, so try and arrange cool events that will bring new business and people into their place of operations.

Most importantly. Create a buzz about the business. Maybe write a blog post. They'll love it.

Keep it real, Claudio. I'll be in early next week. As per the usual.

- JCH

PS - oh, and The Sun, after I teach my kid to dunk, you're getting extinguished...keep an eye open, pal.

Our community just got Sexier!

And our community got greener while it got sexier, too! It happened on Wednesday, March 18 at Pane Vero Cafe & Bakery on The Drive. And it happened because the team at Climate Cafes got together with two amazing presenters, Carolyn and Jes, to have an interesting, entertaining, informative, interactive, and, well, amazing conversation about environmentally friendly sex.

Like I said. Amazing.

About 25 of us huddled at the front of the coffee shop to hear Carolyn and Jes share intimate details on the big picture of sex as it relates to the health of our planet's population, the environmental impact (from "birth to death") of contraceptives like condoms and IUDs, how to properly use and dispose of these contraceptives, suggestions on sexily saving energy, and, most importantly, creative ways to turn household items into sex toys! After all, reducing consumption by reusing what we already have (think of really, really fun new ways to conceptualize and use ping pong paddles or a wooden spatula!) is a great way to be sexy non-consumers.

And then there was the part where the audience learned about shaving a cucumber down to a "personally appropriate size" and using it for pleasure. Honestly, the evening was totally about building community and sharing knowledge, but this was one moment that saw one very confused patron - who showed up halfway through the discussion - furrow her brow, turn on her heel and head back outside. Fair enough. Using vegetables in the bedroom, I suppose, isn't for everybody.

Climate Cafes is about bringing environmentally-savvy people together to discuss climate change issues and brainstorm (or learn about) "next steps" that can be taken to demonstrate basic, every day applications that will affect the planet in a positive way. Here are some ideas and strategies that you, the sexual consumer, might want to think about as you prepare to make romantic moves in the future:

There's a lotta people here: can Mother Earth support and sustain so many people? Probably not. Definitely not at the rate we're going. So, we learned about the myriad of birth control and safer-sex options out there. Check out the Climate Cafes website or Options for Sexual Health for more details. Green or not, when it comes to sex, keep it classy, safe and know your options.
Products "from birth to death": what environmental impact do condoms, birth control pills, IUDs, diaphragms, dildos, whips, vibes, lubes, and/or sexy panties have on the planet? From production to disposal, what do you need to know about items on the above list? For example, recent findings show that there is actually more fish-population-affecting estrogen in a pesticide like DDT than there is in a birth control pills. Also, think about buying lingerie or toys that are organic and locally made. Climate Cafe-er, Emily Jubenville, has some cool ideas on where to look and what to look for.
Intimately Environmentally Sexy: saving energy and making things hot at the same time couldn't be simpler. Share a steamy shower with your partner and save some water, or turn out the lights and light some candles to make things sexy and energy efficient (just don't get caught up in the passion and burn the house down).

Oh man, and I almost forgot. We learned that menstrual blood can be used as fertilizer for house plants and that there is a depot in Vancouver where you can recycle your sex toys. Like I said...amazing!

So, Gumbooters, stay sexy. Check out the details at www.climatecafes.ca. And, most importantly, have fun with it!

- JCH