An hommage: the Kommunity of Quinlan

Kevin Quinlan is Gregor Robertson's Executive Assistant - aka Press Secretary to the Mayor - which (fun fact alert!!!) is the same position that Gordon Campbell held when he got started in politics. Does this mean that Kevin will be Premier of BC one day? Yes, it absolutely does. But that's not what this article is about. It's about Kevin being a stand-up guy. If I happened to be the Executive Director of a Gentlemen and Scholars Club (which I may or may not be) I would totally invite Kevin. Like I said, he's a class act.

Kevin Quinlan is also called "KQ". He also likes dinner parties. So, tonight (May 22), some of The Gumboot's contributors will be hosting a "KQ" themed dinner party in honour of our friend - and the guy who may or may not be secretly running Vancouver - Kevin Quinlan. But who is Kevin Quinlan? Nobody really knows. Well, readers, today is your lucky day, because I have created a Mad Libs-esque dinner-party-script for you to copy, paste, print, and perform; we (and you), the people, will get to decide who is Kevin Quinlan.

Hey, have fun with it!

- JCH

THE KEVIN QUINLAN MAD LIB

Everyone knew that Kevin Quinlan loved X-Files. But no one knew that he would ever actually be an X-File. One ______________ (adverb) evening, Kevin Quinlan was hustling through some last-minute __________ (noun) in the ____________ (noun). Suddenly, there was a __________ (sound) on the ___________ (noun). Kevin opened the __________ (same noun) and, before him were two ________________ (plural noun). "Come with us," they said (that's right, they talk). "There are some ___________ (adjective) paranormal occurrences that we need you to help us investigate." Kevin __________ (past tense verb) at them for __________ (number) seconds and then _____________ (past tense verb) the ___________ (adjective) ___________ (same plural noun) into the dark evening. But, Kevin soon discovered, nothing was what it seemed! The ___________ (same plural noun) were reall aliens from ___________ (name of planet). Aliens using their paranormal ____________ (noun) were about to ____________ (past tense verb), thought Kevin. And, sure enough, they __________ (same past tense verb) him for ____________ (number) hours. Not only that, they also _____________ (past tense verb) in a(n) __________ (adjective) way for ________________ (bigger number). It was _________________ (adjective)! Kevin had never ____________ (past tense verb) so much in his life. A few ____________ (unit of time) later, Agents Moulder and Skully showed up and took Kevin's _________________ (noun). Then they took his statement. And that is how Kevin Quinlan became an X-File, not to mention the biggest __________ (noun) in history.